Subject: Arsenal's Season
FINISH IT
Forward, Forward, Back, Back, L (i played it on SNES alright, don't give me any gyp).
Ronaldo scores from the spot unfazed even though he has to retake. Hargreaves scores a free kick which might have been stopped if Van Persie was arsed to jump. Final score. Manchester Utd 2 Arsenal 1.
(Sonya blows a kiss at Arsenal's season. The kiss lands on it and set's it ablaze. Arsenal's season drops to its knees with a final dying scream, its flesh all charred off and a skeleton left behind).
Sonya Wins
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Feeling Sorry For Theo
Disclaimer: this is being written by me when I am fucking angry. I watched the match in a pub full of Liverpool fans. I now understand what drives hooligans. Bad grammar and illogical thoughts may follow therein.
I don't know what to say. Arsenal are bastards. They are like you know the kind of person that will get a PS3 box and put a pair of socks in it, and wrap it up and give it to you.
You open it up excitedly, A PS3 you shriek. then you open it and see a pair of Marks and Spencer's fresh feet socks. You smile, and say thank you even though you know you are totally disappointed.
This tortuous analogy leads me to Arsenal. Despite the collapse of our season- all things considered the "Finish Them" of our season will come this Sunday at Old Trafford- there have been times like against Chelsea and in both legs against liverpool when I felt that just maybe we could make it only for us to throw it all away.
People will say I'm mad, but i'm saying a disappointed thank you to Arsene. On his head this season's failures lie.
Lack of signings. Maybe not in the summer when optimism said maybe Eboue is a right winger, or Eduardo can play on the left but definately in January. Instead we not only failed to buy anyone, we also let go a really decent player in Diarra. He would have been good today when flamini came off. He would have been essential in giving Cesc or Flamini a rest. Then we sent the youngsters like Gibbs and Merida on loan. I'd like to see how much they've played. I know they are young but so was Pele, and if it doesn't work out, they're still young- its a learning experience. Adams was around their age when he first made the Arsenal first team and he made mistakes, but then he was captain at 21.
Stubborness. Wenger is like that annoying Football Manager freak who lords it over you because he found some unknown (possibly fake) but amazing player- the Tonton Zola Moukoko and won everything with Macclesfield in his game by 2010. He wants to have a smug look on his face when he wins by saying we did not buy success. Well, I'd rather have Anelka than Bendtner- Anelka would know to jump out of the fucking way at least.
If Wenger actually had a track record of playing our so called world class youngsters outside anything than the carling cup, then you might say he has a point, but they eventually get shipped out. Does anyone not feel bad when they see Eboue/Diaby attempting to be wingers, when meanwhile the likes of Bentley (spits) and Larsson do infintely better jobs. They might not be Arsenal class but neither is what we have right now in those positions.
Fair enough, he then plays said players and they suck, conventional wisdom says you don't play them again, but no not Mr. Wenger. He persists. Today, we were being battered by Liverpool especially in the second half, totally on the ropes, Dirk Kuyt for god sake had the freedom of the right flank where Diaby played. Thank God it was only Kuyt.
on the right things weren't much better. Toure was far better than Eboue going forward. In fact, I wager that if i stop eating a slab of bacon as a snack, and got fit- I might actually be better than Eboue going forward- don't hold me to that. he's decent enough when it isn't expected of him but he's not it. Why didn't Walcott start, why didn't he come on when it was obvious that Liverpool were making things difficult for us. The 20 minutes ot so before Torres scored were really uncomfortable. Walcott did more in his 17 minute cameo than Eboue did in the entire time he was on. However, perhaps, him being on meant that we failed to deal with Babel adequately for the penalty but horses for courses.
My anger is spent now. I realise that in fact this season was one of overachievement. Going into the season with a team like this is like going into your Mock exam with a fake made in China Maths Set. You know the one where the dividers look like the polio riddled legs of a child and the eraser leaves black marks all over your work like you used a piece of coal. By some miracle you get a B2 or something good like that. You'd be foolish to go into the actual SSCE with that same piece of shit.
What we need now is
a. another striker because Bendtner is crap, Walcott is apparently too young still, Eduardo needs to start walking first before we consider him, Van Persie is made of glass.
b. We need a winger. so we can stop playing square pegs in round holes.
c. We need someone with a spine. This person needs to become immediately influential in the side. We were raping Liverpool in the early stages but once Hyypia equalised, we became the victims. Our heads dropped. It doesn't help that the influential members of the squad are all basket cases or just rubbish now. Gallas and Toure are like old Soviet nuclear reactors, capable of meltdown at any moment. Gilberto is sipping capirinhas in his Rio villa whilst chuckling at the attempts of his doppelganger houseboy to cut it in the premier league. We would never have gone down like that if Adams, Keown, Parlour or even Vieira were on board.
d. we need another creative central midfielder so we can rest cesc once in a while. lansbury could have played here. instead he's sitting on the bench somewhere in the football league.
sigh. well when henry left i thought the worst. some people stepped up to the plate in a big way this season. a few signings, blooding the youngsters (and damn the consequences), and not being more fragile mentally than britney spears next season could see us do something special.
so a disappointing thank you to Arsene for the socks inside the PS3 box. maybe next year we'll get the real thing?
I don't know what to say. Arsenal are bastards. They are like you know the kind of person that will get a PS3 box and put a pair of socks in it, and wrap it up and give it to you.
You open it up excitedly, A PS3 you shriek. then you open it and see a pair of Marks and Spencer's fresh feet socks. You smile, and say thank you even though you know you are totally disappointed.
This tortuous analogy leads me to Arsenal. Despite the collapse of our season- all things considered the "Finish Them" of our season will come this Sunday at Old Trafford- there have been times like against Chelsea and in both legs against liverpool when I felt that just maybe we could make it only for us to throw it all away.
People will say I'm mad, but i'm saying a disappointed thank you to Arsene. On his head this season's failures lie.
Lack of signings. Maybe not in the summer when optimism said maybe Eboue is a right winger, or Eduardo can play on the left but definately in January. Instead we not only failed to buy anyone, we also let go a really decent player in Diarra. He would have been good today when flamini came off. He would have been essential in giving Cesc or Flamini a rest. Then we sent the youngsters like Gibbs and Merida on loan. I'd like to see how much they've played. I know they are young but so was Pele, and if it doesn't work out, they're still young- its a learning experience. Adams was around their age when he first made the Arsenal first team and he made mistakes, but then he was captain at 21.
Stubborness. Wenger is like that annoying Football Manager freak who lords it over you because he found some unknown (possibly fake) but amazing player- the Tonton Zola Moukoko and won everything with Macclesfield in his game by 2010. He wants to have a smug look on his face when he wins by saying we did not buy success. Well, I'd rather have Anelka than Bendtner- Anelka would know to jump out of the fucking way at least.
If Wenger actually had a track record of playing our so called world class youngsters outside anything than the carling cup, then you might say he has a point, but they eventually get shipped out. Does anyone not feel bad when they see Eboue/Diaby attempting to be wingers, when meanwhile the likes of Bentley (spits) and Larsson do infintely better jobs. They might not be Arsenal class but neither is what we have right now in those positions.
Fair enough, he then plays said players and they suck, conventional wisdom says you don't play them again, but no not Mr. Wenger. He persists. Today, we were being battered by Liverpool especially in the second half, totally on the ropes, Dirk Kuyt for god sake had the freedom of the right flank where Diaby played. Thank God it was only Kuyt.
on the right things weren't much better. Toure was far better than Eboue going forward. In fact, I wager that if i stop eating a slab of bacon as a snack, and got fit- I might actually be better than Eboue going forward- don't hold me to that. he's decent enough when it isn't expected of him but he's not it. Why didn't Walcott start, why didn't he come on when it was obvious that Liverpool were making things difficult for us. The 20 minutes ot so before Torres scored were really uncomfortable. Walcott did more in his 17 minute cameo than Eboue did in the entire time he was on. However, perhaps, him being on meant that we failed to deal with Babel adequately for the penalty but horses for courses.
My anger is spent now. I realise that in fact this season was one of overachievement. Going into the season with a team like this is like going into your Mock exam with a fake made in China Maths Set. You know the one where the dividers look like the polio riddled legs of a child and the eraser leaves black marks all over your work like you used a piece of coal. By some miracle you get a B2 or something good like that. You'd be foolish to go into the actual SSCE with that same piece of shit.
What we need now is
a. another striker because Bendtner is crap, Walcott is apparently too young still, Eduardo needs to start walking first before we consider him, Van Persie is made of glass.
b. We need a winger. so we can stop playing square pegs in round holes.
c. We need someone with a spine. This person needs to become immediately influential in the side. We were raping Liverpool in the early stages but once Hyypia equalised, we became the victims. Our heads dropped. It doesn't help that the influential members of the squad are all basket cases or just rubbish now. Gallas and Toure are like old Soviet nuclear reactors, capable of meltdown at any moment. Gilberto is sipping capirinhas in his Rio villa whilst chuckling at the attempts of his doppelganger houseboy to cut it in the premier league. We would never have gone down like that if Adams, Keown, Parlour or even Vieira were on board.
d. we need another creative central midfielder so we can rest cesc once in a while. lansbury could have played here. instead he's sitting on the bench somewhere in the football league.
sigh. well when henry left i thought the worst. some people stepped up to the plate in a big way this season. a few signings, blooding the youngsters (and damn the consequences), and not being more fragile mentally than britney spears next season could see us do something special.
so a disappointing thank you to Arsene for the socks inside the PS3 box. maybe next year we'll get the real thing?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)