Questions from February

1. Was Yakubu’s performance against Brann Bergen more damning for Berti Vogts than anything else? The Nigerian striker was outstanding, full of running and movement off the ball. In the first leg in Norway, I am willing to believe Yak covered more ground than he did in four nations cup matches.

2. Given the Arsenal medical team’s track record, and the run of bad luck the likes of Van Persie and Rosicky have had with injuries will Eduardo be back just before the 2010 world cup?

3. Is Carlos Queiroz destined to be the new Manchester Utd boss when Fergie retires whenever? The influx of young Portuguese speaking players like Nani, Anderson and now Manucho could mean one of two things: that the Portuguese coach has a big say now in transfer and scouting (Angola?) decisions or that he is laying the foundations for his eventual coronation. Managers tend to favour players from their country of origin so it won’t be too surprising right now. I’m calling this like I called the rise of Ivory Coast in 2004.

4. Are Nigeria the England (circa 2007) of Africa? Look at the facts: crap manager, deluded fans, prima donna players, long balls, shit press etc. Did anyone feel like crying when the saw the charlatan in the number 10 shirt NotOkocha aka Mikel Obi?

5. Was Keegan’s first month in charge at Newcastle the worst month of his career? With St James about fortress-like as a tiramisu, will they be relegated? I like Keegan, and you want to see him do well but the game has passed him by and it’s still a head-scratcher why someone who admitted to not watching a game of football in 3 years was hired. My guess (and some Newcastle fans have suggested as much) is that hiring Keegan was a win-win situation. Him at the helm will keep the fans happy regardless of results for a while at least. Who knows maybe Ashley and Mort have a better longer term target in the Summer. A few quality coaches could be out of jobs when the Euros are said and done.

6. Speaking of Newcastle am I the only hoping that their former manager Fat Sam chokes on his own arrogance...or at least his neck fat? He’s been in the press a lot recently whining about not being given enough time. If he’d been given any more time, he would have made them Bolton Mk II and the fact remains that those tactics can only get you so far. The players freefalling at Newcastle are mostly all Allardyce’s purchases. They were bad last season but not this bad.

7. Is this the turning point to Tottenham? If they are Champions in the next few years will it all boil down to the Carling Cup win in 2008. The press is a funny thing- one minute Levy and ENIC are jokers on the level of the ‘eccentric’ owners in Spain or Romanov at Hearts, the next minute they are geniuses. It only takes a moment of madness though for a well oiled machine to be a joke club.

8. Flat-track bullies vs. A team in decline. Has any tournament made a mockery of pundits’ positions more so than this year’s Nations Cup? In the end, Egypt were by far the best team, even destroying the Ivory Coast. They did this in West Africa, and have shown perhaps more than the likes of Morocco and Tunisia that they can perform outside the North. The only thing left of this team now is to impress on the international stage. They should qualify for the next nations cup...the question is whether they will do enough to win their qualifying group and qualify for the World Cup in 2010. They should have a chance next year for a global showing at the Confederations cup. Cameroun on the other hand had been written off as likely winners. The great Cameroun side of the early part of the century was destroyed before its time by the death of Marc-Vivien Foe. In the surprising Alex Song, they finally have someone to fill up that Foe shaped hole; now if only they could clone him. (Who would have thought a gooner would be saying that?)

9. Is the 39th Game not the most ridiculous idea ever? No doubt the premiership is popular worldwide, but this is because of its slick marketing and global distribution channels. It is not popular in countries with decent leagues. Sure if you go to an English/Irish pub during game time in these countries you will find that they are packed, but with English speakers craving for a slice of home. The fact remains that few of the fans, the ones who really go for the teams, will be able to afford to go. In Nigeria for instance, you know that people will go to be seen rather than to see. These people are the kind of people who say I’m a Man U fan and then when asked to name on player go Romario...for fuck’s sake. There will be wakes with better atmospheres. Plus given the disparity in performances between the top half and bottom half of the league this season, will the mooted seeding system not just result in giving 3 points to the likes of Arsenal, Man United and Chelsea? A far better idea would be an All-Star game and various global cities could bid to host it. Or host the Community Shield elsewhere. It will invariably end up with Manchester Utd, Arsenal or Chelsea, which we know are the teams everybody is going to bid to see.

10. Glad to see that selfishly protecting their interests has Blatter and Platini speaking sense for once on why the 39th game is craven and immoral and a sign that football is no longer a sport but a business. I am also copyrighting Blattini as term to describe the gruesome twosome above.